Louis Lins is the name I was forced to come up with. I was “Isis Noull”, but with the horrible terrorist group, it became necessary to change it. This how I came up with the original name: Almost 16 years ago, I attempted to turn years of journal entries into my “life story”. I originally called it “StuN” (nuts spelled backwards). 6 years later (about 6 months after my head injury), sitting in the park writing one day, it dawned on me that though me and my situations may fit the general stereotype term “nuts”, I felt that wasn’t a good title. As I read over my last few entries, most were of happy, joyous and fond memories. When I remembered their end results, I thought, “Wow, for the most part, my life has been full of illusions. Illusions…illusions, perfect, that’s it!” But that was much to general a title. I rearranged the letters (hence “Isis Noull”), and came up with “The Story of Isis Noull”, long before this group was ever heard of. Before reading any further posts, be aware they may contain what are referred to as “Trigger Warnings”. Those of us who have Bi-polar, or any other mental health issues, are mostly familiar with what this term means, which is: The content may be so disturbing or upsetting it could “trigger” an “episode”. I still had to have an anagram for “illusions”, so “Louis Lins” is the best I could come with.
I’m no professional, counselor, or anywhere near an expert on ANYTHING. If that’s what you are looking for, I suggest finding another site, blog or whatever. This site is only about MY inner struggle with Bipolar disorder. If what you are looking for are the experiences, views and opinions through the eyes of a real person, then please explore my site! Feel free to comment or share anything. Again, I’m only speaking for myself as an individual.
Of course, “Louis Lins” isn’t my born name. I wish to remain anonymous for the same basic reasons DC Comic’s Oliver Queen, Barry Allen, Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince, etc. do. I’m not ashamed to admit I have Bi-polar Disorder (something I obviously didn’t get out of bed one day saying, “Gee, I want to have this.”). It took years after being officially diagnosed for me to finally accept: It’s a part of me. I may be ashamed of some of the things I did/do during some of the “Manias/phases” that are a big part of the disorder, but the point of anonymity is to protect those around me. If someone “exposes” who I am, that means the people I refer to are “outed” as well. Whether they choose to “expose” me or themselves (I’d rather they didn’t), is up to them. I am not writing anything that isn’t 100% truth, and I also “expose” my own faults/wrong doings.
My hope for this blog is that even if only one person ever reads it, it may inspire them in some way. Even if it’s something as small is, “Wow, I really understand that!”, or “Wow, I soooo don’t want to be like this!” If not, it’s okay, because I created this site for my true self, as I find much cathartic value in doing so.
I am diagnosed with Bi-polar Disorder, with a Traumatic Brain Injury that exacerbated it, and I suffer from chronic pain. Many times, my posts are contradictory, hypocritical and repetitive, so I apologize. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, nor do I crave (at this point in my life) “attention”.
I attempt to be as “clean” as possible, but some posts do contain very “adult oriented” content. Whether you choose to explore more of my site or not, it’s all good, either way, thanks for visiting!